"Holy Shit : Gratitude is Cool." by Molly May McMahan
“Holy Shit: Gratitude is Cool.” by Molly May McMahan is a submission for our “We Are Made of Stardust” series and featured in our July 2019 Print Issue of “The Starseed’s Almanac”.
I have found myself recently obsessing over the evolution of life. Our abilities to change and grow. To learn, to blossom, to heal, to let go, to move on. The ever ebb and flow of the shifts of life used to be my fear. In moments of happiness I would think steadily on the dread of them ending... much like the “Sunday night sads” on a seasonal scale. In moments of challenge or pain, I became stiff, hardened, and completely unavailable… not unlike the cynicism of my 20s.
My perspective towards living life was gloriously altered a few years ago. And it was so simple. Gratitude. Come as you are, grateful for what-the-fuck-ever you are grateful for, simple and pure, mother-fucking GRATITUDE.
My practice started plain. I’d run through my gratitudes on my commute every morning. Some days I would be grateful for a cup of coffee, others would naturally dive deeper into interactions, relationships, or the abilities of my mind. My perspective shift was nearly immediate.
When I became grounded in my gratitudes everyday, I found myself more present. I was more appreciative for my moments of joy (cue the actual confetti) and was able to shrug off the comments from dickheads as just that : comments from dickheads.
This was the first instance of turning inward and beginning a relationship with myself.
This is where my obsession with the evolution of life takes hold. Talk to me ten years ago and I would tell you I’m A+ at chugging beers. Talk to me today and I’ll tell you I’m still A+ at chugging beers, with the addition of happy as fuck, excited to live, and grateful to the tippy top. I used to go through the motions. I did what was expected, followed the natural pace of existence that was set before me, and didn’t dare disrupt “too much”. (I mean, I’ve always been me… the little Leo just had to really be let out). It wasn’t until my gratitude gifted me with this relationship with myself that allowed my confidence to exist. You know, the truest form of confidence where you’re the cheerleader and your claps are so full of willful energy that every shot is sunk. Only now I’m the ball… I’m the player… AND the cheerleader. (I have never actually been a cheerleader, but I’m one hell of a hype girl).
This relationship with myself, grounded in gratitude, has changed everything. From how I show up in my relationships, how I interact, how I think, and how I behave. Before you think this is some flowery eye-roll bullshit, know that it’s not a magic pill. I still have doubts, and fears, and pain. But now, I just gave a gorgeous toolbelt to cope. And the evolution of that toolbelt is really fucking cool…
Like… really fucking cool.
- MEET THE AUTHOR -
Molly May McMahan
CRYSTAL OF THE MOMENT: Chrysoprase
SUN SIGN: Leo
FAVORITE GIFT TO GIVE: Joy
FAVORITE GIFT TO RECEIVE: Inspiration, Connection & Understanding
Photos Captured by Jenna Dailey